Worthless
by Fuyun
Summary: Fuu, Mugen, and Jin encounter two travelers who are basicly thieves. Their worlds are twisted by the girl's crazy antics, stupid and terrible. But, really, is there a complicated past behind these two?
1. Worthless 1

Tsuki sat at the end of the stairs to the temple, twisting her paper umbrella around. Things were really boring, and being in her aqua koi kimono was too troublesome. She couldn't walk or run anywhere, but she just had to. The crowded villages that she and her friend passed thought that she was a guy and would try to convince her to a brothel. Tsuki wasn't there to sleep with a woman! She was one after all. Of course, she did look like a guy, without breasts, and she did wear guy-like clothes. But Tsuki didn't exactly look like a guy. Her companion had noticed that she was a girl. Tsuki wanted to look like a man, though. That was why she dressed like one and had short hair. Woman in Japan were weak and treated lowly. She didn't want to be treated as such.

Ryku stared up at the statue while holding her prayer paper. Her light yellow kimono with the red dragon looked magnificent with the setting sun shining off of the silk. Ryku's black hair swirled and took in the dust rising from the temple grounds. She looked magnificent and intelligent, if not feminine. With a blank look at her paper, she let it fly from her hands.

"I'm completely lost." She stated as the paper flew to the skies. Ryku stepped from her spot and towards the entrance. Tsuki was probably whining about how slow she was taking. The annoying girl was always bored and unique. Yes, she could kill anyone who touches her food, yet can't kill a fly with her sword if she tried. Tsuki tended to get in a lot of trouble, too.

_Why do we always stick by that girl! _Tess questioned annoyingly. Her patience was quickly washing away and anger rose. Tess never got along with Tsuki, due to the fact that she was always too happy. Nothing could ever get her to frown, unless someone ate her food. Or they tried to get her in a whore house and said she looked like a girl.

Ryku gave a sigh at Tess's question. Having a split personality was not easy when you were fully aware. But Tess did come in handy when they got in trouble, like the time Tsuki traded their freedom for sushi. It turned out that they weren't even edible, but plain wood carvings. Those sushi carvings did look convincing though…

The sound of steps sounded from behind Tsuki and she turned to see Ryku. Her lost expression was on again and it seemed that she recently put her hair in a bun.

"Could we go now, it's so boring!" Tsuki whined while standing up.

"You just couldn't sit down for a few minutes, could you?" Ryku retorted.

Tsuki shrugged in her boy-like manner and followed Ryku to the empty streets of the village.

"Hey, Ryku, you know, the food at the vendor smells really good." Tsuki looked greedily at a stall selling ramen. The smells that came wafting were wonderful.

"We don't have money, idiot! Oh, look, there's some onigiri!" Ryku cried and pointed at another vendor. Tsuki was about to comment about Ryku's stupid remark when she saw a girl in pink kimono with a sack of yen. She was walking with two men, one favorable and the other was scruffier. They both carried swords while the girl twiddled with her sack.

"Hey, Ryku, don't you think that that sack has lots of money?" Tsuki asked.

"No duh, idiot! You know what to do right?" Ryku asked with a malicious look in her eyes. A smirk danced on her face. Tsuki nodded stupidly and Ryku quickly ran away from her and past the group. Tsuki then walked up to the group.

"Lady and men, please stop right there!" Tsuki held up her hand for them to stop.

The scruffy one gave an annoyed and weird look," What the hell, get out of our way!"

"Yes, we are on a very tight schedule." The favorable one agreed. He towered over Tsuki and made her feel very small.

"I'm terribly sorry, but I need to ask you something." Tsuki cried boldly.

They looked inquiringly, and the girl still held the sack stupidly. She had an amazed look on her face, as if hypnotized.

"I just want to ask you, how stupid are you?" Tsuki cried and grabbed the sack. They were stunned and gave a startled look. Tsuki quickly ran between them, the favorable grabbed her ankle, and she threw the yen to Ryku. Ryku caught it and quickly ran to the crowded streets.

Meanwhile, Tsuki was on the ground and looking innocently at the trio.

"What do you think you're doing?" the girl asked.

Tsuki smiled innocently and shouted," HELP, HELP, I'M BEING ROBBED!"

Many people turned and Tsuki managed to loosen their hold on her leg. She then ran into the crowd.

"Why that little bitch!" the scruffy one commented as he looked for her in the crowd.


	2. Worthless 2

Disclaimer: I just have to say this. grabs copyright and runs for it NOW I SHALL OWN SAMURAI CHAMPLOO! drops it to find that it is a sheet of paper in gold No, okay, I don't really.

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"Ryku, could we please stop for a minute or two?" Tsuki whined as she dragged her body behind the stronger girl.

The two were hiking up a mountain so the trio they stole from wouldn't find them. Ryku was much too worn to fight and kill that night. Tsuki wouldn't be of much help as well, seeing that her eyesight was worse than ever.

"No, I don't feel like killing tonight, and you are useless. I wonder why I don't agree with Tess and kill you right now." Ryku growled.

"Because I make you smile and I can steal real well!" Tsuki smiled.

"But you also get us almost killed every time we enter a new village! I'm taking precautions this time, so I don't get my kimono dirty!" Ryku snapped and Tsuki fell silent.

Tsuki and Ryku made it up to the mountain finally. As Ryku stared at the dropping sun over the ocean, Tsuki fell on the soft grass. She stretched her body out and sighed.

"Ryku, wouldn't it be cool if grass was edible? Then I could be like a horse and munch on it like a cow!" Tsuki remarked as she rolled in the green edibles.

A breeze brushed by and Ryku's hair swayed.

"Mother nature abuses every child." was all Ryku said and quickly turned back to the forest-like mountain.

"Where are you going?" Tsuki shouted as she followed Ryku.

Tsuki walked footless down the side, her geta sandals clicking as they bounced off each other. Ryku walked a few feet ahead, remaining silent.

"Ryku, where are you going?" Tsuki demanded.

Ryku turned and stared at her blankly. Ryku's apathetic look was on and she opened her mouth, "I don't know. I'm lost."

Tsuki could feel her sudden astonishment cover over her. She depended on Ryku to guide her.

"I'm lost, too!" Tsuki cried and turned to walk, but hit a nearby tree. She fell on the ground with a large bruise.

"You are an idiot! I don't know why I didn't just come out and kill you before!" Ryku cried and hit a tree branch as well. She then fell on the ground and remained there.

"So, are we going to get up anytime soon?" Tsuki asked and a silent agreement left them on the ground.

The soft humming of the night left them snoring well as the stars overlooked the world, and darkness grasped it in its clutches.

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Red eyes stared at the reflection of the pure liquid. A drop, a ripple, and everything was still. It was peaceful, and it was relaxing. Sleep seemed to tug at the shadow, even though sleep had clouded its mind all night.

"Ryku, are you going to eat that?"

Ryku looked up at Tsuki. Her figure and face was rowdy, and pieces of food stuck to her face. Piles of cleaned plates stacked beside her as her eyes greedily stared at Ryku's own portion of delicacies.

"Back off, wench. I'm the one paying." Ryku stated calmly as she narrowed her eyes.

"No, Tess is since you can't count the money." Tsuki stated back as she carefully moved the plates.

"Neither can you, but you don't see me complaining!" Ryku snapped and finished her morsel.

She could feel Tess's hunger fill up quickly. The candles flickered around them as customers of the shop walked in. Tsuki had changed from the kimono and into her usual rowdy outfit. She was barefoot, and nobody could tell her apart.

"I can't believe those bitches took our money." someone from the group complained.

Tsuki and Ryku's head turned curiously as they recognized the situation. The same scruffy man walked in with the old fashioned samurai. The young girl followed them as well. Her hand clutched her stomach as she trudged behind the men. Ryku cocked an eyebrow as movement underneath her kimono caused the cloth to bend around. Suddenly, a cry of an animal came out as a brown peanut lunged at Ryku.

"What the hell!" she cried as gravity pulled her weight down.

"Ryku, no!" Tsuki cried as a look of shock overcame Ryku's face. A crash was heard as Ryku's fall shook the plates from the pile. They tumbled down and luckily, only one broke and it was far from Ryku. But, a few landed near Tsuki. This caused her to jump back and fall on one of the members. A yelp escaped Tsuki, and the peanut was flung from Ryku and onto Tsuki.

"Oh, hell…" Tsuki commented.

Tsuki hadn't made that comment for the fact that the so called peanut was flung at her, but because Ryku wasn't there. Actually, her other self, Tess, took her place and held her famous dragon-snake dagger. A dog-like snarl was on Tess's face, the dagger in her hand ready to kill the squirrel on Tsuki's chest.

"I'll kill that bastard!" Tess snarled menacingly.

"Uh, Tess, stop, give this peanut a break! It's a small animal after all, you know," Tsuki laughed nervously.

Tsuki quickly ran from her spot, Tess's knife cutting into the floor. The squirrel clung to Tsuki as she ran around the restaurant, trying to find a place to hide.

"Oh shit, Tess, I swear you don't have to kill me yet!" Tsuki tried to reason. Fire and blood lust danced and swirled in Tess's eyes as her skills with the weapon appeared.

"Momo, my poor Momo!" the girl cried.

"This thing is yours? Take it back then!" Tsuki cried angrily as she jumped over a table.

Things weren't too good, seeing as how Tess always wanted to kill Tsuki in the first place.

"You were the one that stole money from us!" the scruffy one shouted and pulled out his own sword.

"Scruffy, this isn't the time! Gah!" Tsuki cried as Tess pulled on her top.

Tsuki fell back, in between the legs of the mad Tess. A sinister smile was plastered on her face as the knife glinted menacingly.

This was the day, the day where Tess would be able to kill Tsuki. After all those years of wanting to kill her, but never getting the chance to. Ryku was always too soft on the girl. Joyous emotions surged through Tess's blood and make her heart beat faster. With a sense of glee, Tess raised her knife, ready to feed it unlimited amounts of blood. Even the trio would not be spared. The whole town would not be spared and the image of spewed blood on furniture only made her lust for blood run deeper. Tess brought her knife down, licking her dry lips. A maniacal smile forming as her eyes enlarged with elation. Excitement, joy, lust, all which ran around her mind. Some would even call her mad for this. The smile dropped quickly as it appeared when the sound of metal rang instead of the usual plunging flesh. Narrowing her eyes, Tess looked from the useless Tsuki and to the owner of the sword. The tanned, scruffy badass was standing there, a cocky smile on.

"What the hell are you doing! Stay out of this!" Tess hissed as they had a staring contest.

No one moved as the still moment overtook everyone. Anger burned hotter than before in Tess, and she shot her icy stare to him. Tess felt Tsuki's eyes wander on the blades with fear as the fierce silent battle shake every nerve in Tsuki's body.

"No way, bitch, this one's mine! She stole our money!" the man retorted. A smirk played on his lips as if he was toying with Tess. This angered her more. She liked nothing more than a person, mostly an opponent, to toy with her. She didn't want to be sympathized or treated as if weak. That wasn't meant for her. Not at all.

With inhuman agility, Tess twisted the knife. The man caught sight of it and went for her opened stomach. Metal resounded in the air, and in drops, slowly, deep red dripped onto the dirt floor.

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I wonder if I should leave it at that. I don't think anybody would get this far will they? If they do, enjoy the 'Reviewer's Riceball' stand to the...ahead. leaves to drink Ramune and eat udon


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